Saturday, October 1, 2011

Something Old, Something NEW!

So first I wanted to share a video with you guys.... 
This is the video of the preview for our Dr. Phil episode. It will air on Oct. 5th. Ok now onto the good stuff...


[frend-ship] Show IPA
the state of being a friend; association as friends: to value a person's friendship.
a friendly relation or intimacy.
friendly feeling or disposition.
I just was curious lately as to what the definition of friendship even was and I actually find that this definition barely scratches the surface of what this word means to me. As I said before, Love is an action, and I feel the same way about friendship. Friendship has always been a huge priority for me and I would do ANYTHING for my friends. Because I have this intense love for my friends, I always have to be careful who I align myself with in friendship. I have been lied to, screwed over, yelled at, talked about behind my back (well this one has prob happened to everyone.. esp if you are a girl) and just plain ole hurt by friends. And to be perfectly honest with you...I'm not friends with those people anymore. Friendship is something that I work very hard at, and in fact,  maybe a little too hard. In the last 2 months I have barely spoken to any of my friends and I cannot even begin to tell you how guilty that has made me feel. But it is soo wonderful to pick up the phone and call my friends from highschool and college and talk to them about why I haven't been in touch and they do not even bat an eyelash about it. I am not saying that other friends have not been supportive but for sure that group specifically has been so understanding. And I just want to let them know how much I appreciate them for thank you peeps :)
I have to be honest, I have thought a lot about whether or not to continue this blog in the last week or so. I was feeling very much like my divulging of information would be miscontrude as selfish or self absorbed. I felt like this blog was not allowing me to ask about the lives of others that read it, the people that I am not able to talk to everyday or even at all really. But after much consideration I came to these conclusions...
This is my blog and if you don't want to read it, don't. You have the divine choice to read anything that I write.. blog posts, emails, facebook posts, twitter feeds, etc. If you find my life and the things that happen to me to be overwhelming or overbearing and it's just to much for you to handle...I completely understand. As a friend told me this week..."I think for the most part, you just have more going on in your life than some people and the fact that you wanna share it with people doesn't mean anything other than just wanna share it with people".
I legit to do not have a selfish bone in my body but I can totally see how someone could misinterpret my personality as being selfish. I am a very excitable, bubbly, passionate person and I love to tell stories, make people laugh and involve people in my life. I love feeling the closeness to people when I tell them a funny story of how I ripped my pants at the airport in the security line and had to sew them up at the airport bathroom (true story) and then they tell me an embarrassing story back. Or recently, when I told a father in my training class about my family's episode of Dr. Phil and he began to cry bc he felt like he wanted to go home and hug his kids...I love being able to connect with people like that. And I can see how someone may misundertand this as me wanting to ONLY talk about myself and not want to know about their life but this could not be further from the truth. I am genuinely very curious about other people and their stories. I love hearing about the single mom that is going back to school to become a nurse, or listening to all the details of my friends planning their weddings. I have never and will never talk, just to hear myself talk. And the people in my life that truly KNOW me will always see beyond the story to what the actual goal is in telling's not about's about connecting.
Soooo I have to apologize to those that have found my story telling to be selfish, self absored, not invested, uninvolved with others, or even just a place for me to talk and them to listen. That is not who I am and most certainly not what the intention was. And if you find yourself falling into this category...than please let me know. I would never fault anyone for telling me how then feel when they feel it. But I can't say that I will be thrilled if the approach is to judge and breakdown.
Friendship should be about give and take. What can you bring to someone else's life and what do they bring to yours. Some friendships will not last forever, and that's ok. Some friendships will withstand the many tests of time and become stronger and stronger as the years pass.I also have seen in the last few months that you can make new friends that may become your best friends. I have had some pretty amazing women jump into my life recently and I could not be happier about them :)
I am for sure at the point in my life where I can see who is going to be standing there with me as I get married, have babies, and make 1,000 mistakes along the way. I'm pretty sure those people know exactly who they are too. For those friends, I just want to tell you that your patience and unjudgemental ears over the years are molding me to be a better person each and every day. In the times when my family has been distracted by tragedy, you have become my family. I thank God each and everyday for bringing you to my life.

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