So in several conversations I have had this week I have seen a common theme..BODY IMAGE. This is one of my least favorite topics but this week I have decided that maybe that's because I usually avoid the conversation when I'm having a bad body image week. And clearly Sunday my own insecurities pushed me into crazy town and this happens to us all. Am I right ladies???
I did this little experiment with a friend of mine last week to show how distorted everyones own image is of themselves. She showed me a picture and said, "this is what I think I look like". The picture was of Cheryl Burke (Dancing with the Stars) and while Cheryl is a beautiful girl, my friend is like 20 lbs smaller. So I then went into my handy dandy lap top to show my friend what I think I look like. I am sorta embarrassed to tell you what I googled to show her...ummm....ok I googled "fat girl". Sooo sad! I showed her the picture that I thought looked the most like me and she was shocked and laughing at the same time. She said that this picture was of a woman that was "3 times my size". This whole experiment really got me thinking. What do we really look like and will we ever see it or are we too wrapped up in our own image of what we think we look like???
We diet, we work out, and even in our younger days I'm sure some of us did other things like straight up starving or throwing up everything we ate. Why do we torture ourselves?? Isn't the real issue just to be healthier?? And if being healthy is the only thing then why do we sabotage and eat bad food?? I mean I totally get that it tastes good. I have finally had to come to terms with that fact that I may or may not have an addiction to french fries. But it just kinda baffles me that when we do eat the bad food, we mentally abuse ourselves for hours after ward...it really makes no sense.
All this inquisistion came to a head last night when my BF was telling me to drink this nasty green stuff that he swears by. I bought this plastic water bottle that has the thing you put in the freezer so that water is cold all day in it. It also comes with a glorious straw that ensures I am not even aware of the insane amount of water that I am actually drinking. This amount of water drinking is good until I am in the bathroom every 20 minutes. Well, my water bottle thing was jacked by my man candy and now he drinks this nasty green stuff mixed with water and trys to get me to drink it every chance he gets. Listen honey, I don't want to drink your swamp water!!! So last night when my stubborn attitude reared its ugly head again we got into a very interesting discussion. He said he wants me to drink it because it helps with the pH levels in the body. I was adamant about not wanting to drink this stuff and throwing in every single thing I do to ensure I am healthy 70% of the time and then he got to throw that back in my face because I am in fact a......SMOKER.
This conversation was him telling me that he does want me to die young and that I should really just be more conscience about some of my more bad habits. Here are some things I asked for clarity on from him that amazed me....
1) Do you think I'm fat?
2) Why do you think I'm sooo "unhealthy" just bc I smoke??
3) Why can't you just except me for who I am??
Ok I laughed at them later in the conversation bc clearly he never said I was fat or that he does not except me but it was interesting that I heard those things. It doesn't take a veteran therapist to know that I clearly have some issues about myself that I need to work out on my own. I guess those old body image issues will jump out at ya even when you least expect it. Should I be healthier...of course. My weekend "I'm allowed to to eat whatever bc I'm sooo good during the week" attitude needs to be bridled. I also 100% need to stop smoking...I know I know..please no lecture...I get them all the time from everyone I know. And I really need to except myself for who I am and what I look like. So I don't have the best body image..I'm workin on it! So I have an addiction to french fries....now I just need to learn how to enjoy them baked and with minimal salt and I'm golden (no pun intended).
In conclusion, I'm still not drinking the nasty green stuff but I am open to the idea that with better eating habits comes better body image. You look good=you feel good...makes sense to me. But I also want to stress that the reason these things correlate so well is that if you truly love yourself enough then you will want to feel good about yourself so you should stay away from all things that would potentially harm your body or your body image. This concept is soo much easier said than done. Women are constantly judged by how we look not how we feel we look so its an uphill battle everyday. Guess its baby steps and little reminders that feeling good about yourself tastes waaaayyy better then any food.
Until next time....